After many years of being together, you and your significant other have finally parted ways. Whether it was mutual or one-sided is completely irrelevant, but what does matter is how you move forward from this point on. No one ever said a breakup was easy, and we won’t paint a picture like it’s all sunshine and rainbows; however, there’s what you should do after a breakup and there’s don’t you dare do that! Today, we’ll be discussing the latter, and how you can keep your mental fortitude following a painful breakup. Stay strong, friend; you’ll get through this!
Don’t Make Big Decisions Right Away
Some people immediately make life-altering decisions soon after a breakup. When emotions are high, they tend to cloud the rational side of the brain, making even the worst of ideas seem like the best way to numb the pain. The fact is, any big decisions should be left for when you’re in a better headspace, or else you may come to seriously regret them later. This includes getting a tattoo of your guys’ favorite song quote, shaving your head, or leaving town.
Big decisions require clear thinking, and it’s nearly impossible to think clearly right after a breakup, especially if things didn’t exactly end on a high note. A nasty breakup is especially tough on the mind, hence why those big decisions made in haste are always bad ideas. Remember that something like a tattoo lasts forever, so even though you may have shared many nights together listening to that song, the lyrics tattooed on your body will remain there for the rest of your life. Who wants to remember their ex when they’re eighty?
Get Out of the House
Picture this scenario: a breakup occurs, one party is badly hurt from it, and they spend the next three months locked away in their two-bedroom apartment remembering what was and obsessing over what could have been. If this is a familiar story, then this tip is for you: get out of the house! Locking yourself away from friends, family, society, and sunlight can have a serious impact on your mental health. Spending hours in relative darkness obsessing over what’s been lost just isn’t healthy, even when it feels like it helps.
Breakups suck, there’s no way around it, but there’s no reason to put your entire life on hold and your mental health at risk for the sake of broken ties. Your ex is gone, and it’s time to move on with life. Being around friends and family and the rest of humanity can help you re-center yourself and gain some much-needed clarity. Don’t hide away!
Don’t Follow Them on Social Media. No, Really.
Be honest; you’ve been looking at your ex’s Facebook and Instagram, reminiscing about when you used to hold them like the new boyfriend or girlfriend is in their current profile picture. Ok, let’s stop right there; navigate away from their page and hit that unfollow button. Social media is a double-edged sword when it comes to relationships; where on the one hand it’s a nice platform to share good times when things are going well, it can become a nightmare once things go south.
Social media creates a unique opportunity to get a glimpse into your ex’s new life, and that is nothing less than a problem. The old saying “curiosity killed the cat” applies here, except it should read something like, “curiosity kept you on Facebook all night remembering your ex”. It’s vital to your mental health to unfollow, unfriend, or even block your ex on all social media. It’s not being bitter or taking revenge; it’s simply protecting yourself from further pain. Deep down, you don’t want to know what he or she is up to.
Don’t Drown Your Sorrow in Drugs and Alcohol
While you’re in mourning of your last relationship, you’re probably having thoughts like, “is it normal to still love my ex?” while you’re sipping on a cold one at the bar. The answer is yes, it’s still normal to love your ex, but no, that alcohol in your hand isn’t going to make things better. Reaching for a bottle or less than savory crutch after a breakup is a classic coping mechanism for many, but the fact is, alcohol is a depressant and will only make things worse in the end.
Ever wonder why you feel so much worse the night after some serious drinking? Alcohol may provide a temporary numbing sensation for your emotional pain (or not, depending on how your body and mind react to it), but the next day you’ll be feeling the depressant in full swing.
Take it One Day at a Time
The best thing you can do for yourself after a breakup is to take things one day at a time. Don’t drink or do drugs; find constructive activities to keep your mind and body occupied, unfollow your ex on social media, and don’t cut yourself off from friends and family.